THE COLUMBIAN DENTIST

Robert Haley, Esquire

A Columbian national studying dentistry here in Charleston at our Medical University of South Carolina was arrested for trafficking cocaine, first degree. He was facing a mandatory, minimum twenty-five years in prison and paid an astronomical fee to a V8 criminal defense attorney who convinced him pleading guilty and cooperating in exchange for leniency was his only option. He pled guilty and named all of the street level dealers he had selling cocaine for him. I snagged one of them who, despite facing the same draconian mandatory sentence, refused to snitch. His recalcitrance left me facing a trial without the slightest hint of a defense.

Bob Haley was the prosecutor. The Columbian dentist was to be our first trial  together but it wouldn’t be our last. What set Bob apart from other lawyers, in my eyes was his passionate caring for the law both as a prosecutor and a public defender. We last appeared together in a courtroom representing separate clients before Judge Brucie Hendrick’s pilot Drug Court where I was not surprised to learn my opinion of Bob was shared unanimously by her Honor, the prosecutors, public defenders, defense lawyers, probation officers, U.S. Marshalls, and court personnel alike.

Whenever in my practice I was confronted with a trial without a discernible defense, I would comfoirt myself remembering whenever you try a case in front of a jury, you never know what they’re going to do. Bob had already won the case by getting guilty pleas from the Columbian dentist and almost all of his co-conspirators, all of whom received lengthy prison sentences. In the process he shut down a major cocaine distribution network and forfeited a shit ton of money and property. The truth is Bob didn’t want to try the case against my client any more than I did but we were both stuck doing just that.

In his opening statement Bob did the only thing he could do and told the jury about the deal he had struck with the dentist. Before laying out the terms of the dentist’s deal, Bob told the jury his father was an ordained minister and said he viewed the Courts as the secular church. My ears perked up. After laying out the terms of the dentist’s deal, he told the jury sometimes you have make a deal with the devil to catch the bad guys. And, just like that, I had my defense.

I gave a pretty standard presumption of innocence and proof beyond a reasonable doubt opening statement but asked my law clerk to run by the library over the lunch break and check out a book containing a short story written by Steven Vincent Benét, The Devil and Daniel Webster. That afternoon I placed a copy of the book on the corner of the defense table where I knew it would catch Bob’s eye.

It did and, as the trial wore on, I would see Bob occasionally glance over at the book. He was an experienced prosecutor and was curious why I hardly cross-examined any of his witnesses, the other alleged co-conspirators. The dentist wasn’t stupid and kept the members of his drug ring separate and apart so the arrest of any one wouldn’t threaten his whole operation. My cross-examination consisted mostly of pointing out how the alleged co-conspirators didn’t have any direct dealing with my client followed quickly by a thank you, no further questions. Now the dentist, he was a different story, and had lots to say about my client. How he’s distributed one to two ounces of cocaine a month to my client over the past couple of years totaling well in excess of the trafficking first degree amount. I spent a good bit of time pointing out how he hadn’t said anything about where he got his kilos upon kilos of cocaine from. When pressed all he would say was he got kilos of cocaine from a guy named Jorge who worked at an unknown car wash somewhere in Miami. Bob was also curious why I hardly objected to any of his evidence. By the time closing arguments came around there was a whole stack of documents and photographs piled high on the clerk’s table. I especially liked the photographs of the dentist’s car with its secret compartment used to transport bricks of cocaine. What I didn’t see was any cocaine on the table. In fact, the only piece of evidence in the pile related directly to my client was the dentist’s little black telephone phone book which had the numbers of all the co-conspirators, including my client, in it. 

Bob gave a very convincing closing argument. So much so Judge William Howard commented, when I stood up to begin my closing argument, there wasn’t a person in the courtroom who didn’t think my client was guilty. I began my closing argument by saying my father wasn’t a minister and, if the truth be known, I don’t get to church near as often as I needed to but, I paused, I do know one thing – you never make a deal with the Devil because the Devil never gives you what he’s promises and you end up doing the Devil’s work. The jurors ears perked up.

I walked over to the mound of exhibits on the clerk’s table and, one by one, picked up each exhibit, mentioned how it related to an alleged co-conspirator who didn’t have any dealings with my client, and moved it to a new pile on the clerk’s desk. When I was done there was only the dentist’s little black book left in Bob’s original pile. I picked it up and turned to jury to simply say, you can’t send a man to prison because his name appears in someone else’s address book. It was the perfect transition to begin talking about the dentist and emphasizing all they had was the dentist’s word for my client’s guilt. No drugs, guns, or money were ever found connected to him. And then I walked over the courtroom bar, opened it, and loudly called Satan to the witness stand. I walked my imaginary Satan past the jury box pointing to his cloven hooves, pointed tail, and pitchfork tongue, before walking him over to the witness box and holding out the clerk’s Bible for him to swear on. I turned back to the jury and said in my best preacher voice, “I’m surprised the dentist wasn’t smoking already as he testified. The dentist promised to cooperate but all he gave you were his underlings, not the kingpins. Fat chance they’re ever gonna catch Jorge in Miami. Do what Nancy Regan says and, ‘Just say No.’” When I sat down Judge Howard said there wasn’t a person in the courtroom who would have convicted my client of anything.

The jury acquitted my client but there are still parts to the story yet to tell.  Another client detained in the jail told me there was one extremely irate Columbian in the jail the night after my verdict. He said the dentist threw a tantrum when he heard of the acquittal. Rumor was he threatened all manner of cartel vengeance upon his lawyer for telling him no lawyer could win the case. I took that as a mighty big compliment but, before I got too big a head about the acquittal, my client’s sister showed up in my office and said, since her brother had been acquitted, I should give back half his fee.

I laughed a doubled over kind of laughter and I told my client’s sister, if I’d know he was going to be acquitted, I would have have charged twice the fee. A good laugh wasn’t all I got. I got Bob Haley as a colleague and friend for all the years of my practice that followed.  We tried cases against each other and togerther and I never met a finer lawyer.